Goodnight, Week 2


Well, I don’t know about the two of you, but I’m having great fun!


The children are darlings (Caleb and Jana had a son they’ve called Ethan after no one in particular, but it’s a rather nice name so I’ve let them keep it.), and I get to play with children’s toys and read books all day. It’s smashing!


Lilith and I are still besotted with one another, of course.


Well, all right. There have been a few setbacks. After my headaches with the wishing well last week I sent Jana to serve as guinea pig this time, and of course she got everything her heart desired (skills, in this case, I think) without any trouble at all.

The next time I tried, despite my $5,000 donation, I was not as lucky:


So at this point I found it necessary to enlist some help. If I’m ever to catch up to the two of you and my descendants are ever to keep pace with yours I’m going to have to get this daft thing figured out. And so, being a scientist, I decided to get scientific about things and . . . well, take it away, Snow . . .


Want to know a secret?

Promise not to tell?


We are standing by a wishing well!


Make a wish into the well.

That’s all you have to do!

And if you hear it echoing . . .

your wish will soon come true!


Of course, if you desire true elation,

It helps to make a nice donation.


As the coin hits the water, my heart fills with joy!

I’ll soon have a marvelous promotion. Oh, boy!


Hello employer! What’s that you say?

You won’t be handing out raises today?


Well, what’s this outcome? How absurd!

It makes one want to shout forbidden words!


Nevertheless, despite endless testing,

Mary’s troubles remain perplexing.

I wish nine times and make my requests,

And get (mostly) positive results from all my tests.

Is Mary so unlucky because she’s a vampire?

Does she make her wishes when she’s too tired?

Does it have something to do with her house or her lot?

I’ll call up Rose Red, and put her on the spot!


Rose is a vampire, just like Mary,

a scientist, too, and kind of scary!

She’s as similar to Mary as she could be,

and yet the well grants her wishes, just like me!


Two weeks of testing have made us no smarter.

We’re just as confused as when we started!

Although I’m certainly no detective,

I think Mary’s well must just be defective.

I tell her to destroy it with all haste!

She’s in a  competition, there’s no time to waste!

And to buy a new one, and to lose no time!

So that life can be all rainbows and sunshine!


So as you’ve probably gathering from that little interlude, I’d just got myself a dodgy well. I must say, it was very satisfying to smash the dratted thing with that little sledgehammer tool and get myself a new one. I won’t keep you in suspense; I reached level 8 of the scientist career by the end of the week, and I only had to smash one more defective well to bits in the process. I still can’t say I recommend using one by any means, but I’m happy to say I’m still in the race!


Even Caleb’s got around to making friends and progress on his aspiration to be a good vampire. I think Jana was not best pleased that his choice for a BFF was an attractive teenaged girl, but the male ego (and Caleb’s male ego in particular) being what it is I don’t think any of us were terribly surprised.


It occurred to me rather early in the week that Lilith and I had never actually made things official between us, so I plopped myself down on one knee and proposed. There’s no particular benefit to us being married, of course, other than us both being desperately happy, but perhaps that’s enough.


I made some good progress on my vampiric aspiration, despite hitting a few bumps. I’m afraid my vampire family may have gotten a bit out of hand. I don’t even remember turning this fellow, but I must have done it against his will because he was none to pleased to see me when the week started, and becoming good friends with him was no small task!


Then, of course, there’s also the work of training up my little proteges and getting my own vampiric skills up high enough. I tell you, there are only so many hours between sundown and sunup!


I must caution you, Loelia, about strolling through our neighborhood in the wee hours (although you look utterly smashing in that dress and I demand that you tell me where you got it!). The truth is, at the hour most of my household finds itself getting peckish there just aren’t too many roving pedestrians to be found, so we’re not too picky about whose necks we go after. You’d do well to keep yours covered if you don’t want anyone other than Raj nibbling at it!


Johnny continues to be Johnny. Poor lamb. If he touches that easel again I think Lilith is going to lock him in a room with the cowplant.


Jana makes brave attempts to overcome her hatred of children by observing Ethan and occasionally even feeding him. He’s a charming, thriving boy, and sure to be as handsome as his Daddy.


In the interests of padding the household income (and keeping him away from the neighborhood’s young, attractive residents) we’ve asked Caleb to take up woodworking. He does not enjoy it, stating that his ivory hands were created for more subtle, delicate tasks, but I expect he’ll overcome his hesitation in time. And at least it keeps him away from the violin!


Ah, there it is! Aspiration achieved! Thank you, thank you. No need for applause (unless you insist!).

All right, there’s much more to tell, but I’ve got to close here. Johnny’s gone out in the sunlight again and I’ll need to summon him back before he gets crispy. I’ll write again and fill you in on Tati’s child and teen birthdays. I trust I won’t be accused of spreading spoilers when I tell you she’s gorgeous.

Love and Kisses,



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